There is an opinion that in relationships “opposites attract”. This is explained by the fact that similar people can be bored and uninterested with each other, while opposites complement each other. In addition, due to similar character traits, conflicts allegedly arise between people more often. On the one hand, there is logic in this, but on the other hand, it seems strange, since different people have fewer topics for communication, they can have completely different interests and habits, as well as opposing views on various aspects of life, such as religion, politics, etc. But what is the situation in reality? Scientists have conducted quite a lot of research on this subject, which allows us to draw certain conclusions.
There is an opinion that people with opposite traits attract and complement each other. Image source. dzen.ru
Contents
- 1 How the similarity of people affects their relationships
- 2 Husband and wife are one Satan: now it is proven
- 3 What trait is always different in people in a couple
- 4 People themselves do not know what they want from a partner
How the similarity of people affects their relationships
Scientists still cannot say for sure why we like some people and dislike others, why some couples are “attracted” to each other and others are not. We can only say with certainty that this is influenced by a variety of factors. For example, scientists previously found out that one of the factors is smell. If we like a person’s smell, we are very likely to feel sympathy towards them. Scientists have also discovered that we don’t like the smells of our close relatives, and this may be a natural defense against incest.
In addition to smells, there are many other factors that influence both initial sympathy and the formation of relationships in the future. And according to scientists, one of them is the similarity of people. Numerous studies have shown that people look for qualities in their potential soulmate that they themselves possess.
According to scientists, opposites rarely manage to achieve good and lasting relationships. Image source: intrigue.dating
Moreover, this is confirmed not only by research, but also by simple surveys. Typically, people say they want to be in relationships with people who are similar to them. And this applies to everything – socio-economic status, religion, political views, hobbies, etc.
Husband and wife are one Satan: now it has been proven
In one study, published in the journal Nature Human Behavior in 2023, scientists found that similarity can play an important role in long-term relationships. The study found that long-term partners shared up to 89% of the same traits.
For example, if a person spends a lot of time playing sports, then their partner is highly likely to play sports too. This also applies to politics, health habits, alcohol consumption and much more. In total, the scientists analyzed couples on 133 traits, and as they report, it is very rare for people to have fewer common traits.
People who have been in a relationship for a long time almost always look alike. Photo source: nippon.com
Of course, it can be assumed that people influence each other to some extent, so the longer they are in a relationship, the more similar they become. For example, spending time together can change habits, lifestyle, views on politics, etc. At the same time, attraction can also increase as the relationship develops, that is, people become closer to each other.
This once again proves that similarity is important in relationships. People who are not similar to each other initially and do not “exchange” traits, most likely do not get along with each other. At least, this is what the results of the study say.
What trait is always different in people in a couple
High similarity between people does not mean that they are exact copies of each other. There is one trait that usually always differs between partners – this is social dominance, that is, how people take responsibility in social interactions and who gives in to whom more. When both partners are dominant, they usually do not find a “common language” with each other.
Partners usually have a different trait called “social dominance”. Photo source: kz-russia.ru
If two partners are “submissive” and “go with the flow”, they may never cope with the problems that arise in the relationship. Therefore, couples with “opposite” social dominance are usually happier in marriage than those with “similar scores” in this regard.
People themselves do not know what they want from a partner
Scientists have also found that people who are very different on paper can be “attracted” to each other in real life. For example, speed dating studies have shown that people may rate certain traits in a partner as desirable, but experience physical or emotional attraction to people who have very different traits. Why this sometimes happens remains a mystery to scientists.
Sometimes people themselves do not know what traits they are attracted to in a partner. Photo source: livescience.com
Perhaps this is due to the fact that during communication we look for similarities with a person as a whole, and not in some specific traits. According to some experts, increased holistic similarity has a positive effect on the romance of relationships.
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In addition, as a 2000 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed, people's subjective opinions about themselves and their partner are of great importance, that is, how similar people in a couple consider themselves to be, even if this similarity is to some extent subjective. But, in any case, we can say with confidence that opposites do not really “attract”. And even if you know couples who are opposites of each other – this is more a coincidence than a pattern.