How to Act Like a Gentleman (with Pictures)

Two Parts:Being a Gentleman with EveryoneBeing a Gentleman with WomenQuestions and Answers

Acting like a gentleman can earn the respect and appreciation of those around you. Additionally, the more conscious effort you put into the practice, the more natural it will eventually become.

Part 1

Being a Gentleman with Everyone

1
Leave a strong first impression. When meeting someone new for the first time, be on your best behavior. You may never have the opportunity to mend a bad impression, so it’s important that you get it right on the first try.[1]
- Generally speaking, this shouldn’t cause you any stress. You merely need to think about the way you act and speak with new acquaintances. Greet them with a firm handshake. Make eye contact. Speak politely and clearly.
2
Be hygienic and appropriately groomed. Acting the part also requires you to look—and smell—the part. Even if your behavior is impeccable, no one will notice your manners if you haven’t bathed in over a week and you walk into the room with a disheveled appearance.
- Shower regularly. Before you leave the house each morning, make sure that you’ve brushed your teeth, combed your hair, and applied antiperspirant.
- Dress appropriately for each occasion, too. Last night’s jeans and a wrinkled t-shirt is acceptable attire for a quick run to the convenient store or coffee shop, but not for your date or a meeting with your boss (even if your office dress code is casual).
- Moreover, no matter what you wear on the outside, you absolutely must wear clean undergarments each day and for all occasions.
3
Mind your language. There are times when a little swearing is socially appropriate, but if you’re trying to act like a gentleman in a certain setting, that probably won’t be one of those times.
- The occasional expletive won’t ruin your image as a gentleman, but if you swear frequently or tell off-color jokes in front of people who may not appreciate that sort of humor, you will probably seem rather rude.
4
Thoroughly engage in every conversation. Make every person you talk with feel as though you are genuinely paying attention to the conversation. Be an active listener. Listen to the other person and add your own thoughts when the time is right.
- Don’t interrupt others while they are speaking or completely ignore something they’ve just said.
- If continuing the conversation is unbearable, politely excuse yourself and put an end to it. Doing so would be more gentlemanly than rolling your eyes or otherwise making your displeasure obvious in the midst of the talk.
5
Wait until everyone has food. When you’re dining with someone else or in a group setting, wait until everyone at the table has been served before digging into your own plate of food. A little patience can go a long way.
- When you’re with party of six or more people, though, it might be more acceptable for you to start eating once you get your food. Look around to see what everyone else with a dish is doing. Their actions might tell you what would be socially appropriate in that particular situation.
6
Know your drinking limit. You can be a gentleman and still enjoy a drink or two. You cannot, however, act like a gentleman if you are utterly and undeniably drunk. Know how much alcohol you can tolerate before losing control of yourself and stay within that limit.
- While in polite company, never drink enough to impair your speech or your good judgment. If you’re not sure whether or not one more drink is a wise move to make, it’s best to err on the side of caution and politely decline it.
7
Take off your hat. When you walk into a building, remove your hat. This is a small action that, if skipped, may not be missed much by most onlookers. When you follow through with it, though, the action tends to be noticed and appreciated
- Removing your hat shows respect for the establishment you’ve just walked into. Even though none of the managers of that establishment might be there to appreciate your gesture, most people you’ll be with will still recognize it as a sign of respect and can appreciate it as such, even though that respect may not be directly aimed at them.
8
Surrender your seat.[2] If you’re on a crowded bus or sitting in the limited waiting space at your favorite restaurant, stand up and offer your seat to someone who otherwise wouldn’t have one. This is an especially courteous thing to do for women, the elderly, and the injured.
- Giving up your seat demonstrates respect and consideration. By making this one simple gesture, you are telling that stranger on the bus that you value his or her comfort over your own. Any sane human being should be more than capable of appreciating that sort of generosity.
9
Hold the door. When you reach the door first, hold it open and let the person behind you walk through before walking through it yourself. If you reach the door after someone else, grab and hold it for that person while he or she is still walking through it.
- This is a good habit to pick up and use on an everyday basis. Open doors for everyone you cross paths with, regardless of age or gender.
- Don’t limit this action to building entrances and exits, either. For instance, you should also hold the elevator door for someone rushing to get on. Hold the car door open as a passenger gets into your car (especially if that passenger is a woman you’re presently dating).

Part 2

Being a Gentleman with Women

1
Control yourself. When you’re with a woman—romantically or platonically—treat her with respect. There is a time and a place for physical passions to come into play, but you must treat every woman as far more than a trigger and a release for your desire.
- For platonic relationships, it’s best to keep the physical contact to a minimum.
- Similarly, the physical contact used during a first date should be relatively cautious and non-invasive. The shoulders, arms, and hands are usually safe zones. It’s best to wait until she gives you clearance to do more before trying to take things any further, though.
- Pay attention to her comfort level overall. Some women move faster than others, while others prefer to take things slow. Body language will usually reveal the difference between the two. Never push a woman to take things further than she’s ready for.
2
Be honest about your relationship status. If a woman starts flirting with you while you’re already in a relationship, you need to tell her that you’re already taken. It is especially important to be honest about this when you are directly asked about your current relationship status.
- You don’t need to tell every woman you meet that you’re in a relationship, of course. Doing so would require you to assume that every woman you meet will inevitably be attracted to you, and that’s not a very classy assumption to make. This rule only applies when a woman demonstrates clear romantic interest or intent.
3
Watch your wandering eye. Keeping your eyes off an attractive woman who passes by can be difficult, but you need to make an effort at doing so, particularly when you’re on a date with another woman[3]
- Instinct may tell you to watch the attractive waitress walking away from your table, but self-control should tell you to keep your eyes on your date.
- As soon as you catch yourself looking at another woman, immediately turn your attention back to the woman you’re supposed to be looking at. The damage inflicted by a glance will be much easier to undo than the damage caused by long stare.
4
Go to her door. Instead of honking the horn and sitting in your car as you wait for her to leave the house, take the time to park the car and walk to her door.
- Waiting in your car might seem sensible enough, but a gentleman is willing to slightly inconvenience himself for the sake of others. Getting out of your car to knock on her door or ring her doorbell demonstrates this sort of willingness.
5
Stand to greet her. You don’t need to stand for every woman who enters the room, but you should stand when the woman you’ve been waiting for arrives and approaches your table.
- This doesn’t mean standing every time she exits and enters the room, of course. Standing upon her initial arrival is usually more than enough to show your respect.
6
Help with her coat and chair. Offer to take her coat upon arrival at your destination. Pull her chair out for her before sitting in your own place at the table. Before leaving, offer to fetch her coat and help her back into it.
- Since these gestures are fairly uncommon nowadays, most women won’t expect them. Some may even dislike them and will be sure to let you know how they feel. For the rest, though, these small acts of consideration will usually come as welcome surprises.
- Note, however, that the staff at many higher class restaurants and formal events will do this instead, so you won’t always have the opportunity to make the offer.
7
Reach for the check. On a first date, you should reach for the check and offer to pay it. She might accept your generosity or still insist upon splitting the bill, but it is a good idea to put the offer out there nonetheless.
- Of course, if you’re on a tight budget, it may not be possible to pay the entire tab for your date. If you can afford to do it, though, it’s worth considering for a first date.
- If she still offers to split it, try thanking her and telling her she can make it up to you next time. If she still insists upon splitting the bill now, then let her. It’s better to cave in than to create a scene.
8
Walk on the curb. When the two of you are walking beside a road, take the position closer to the curb. This is a small, subtle gesture that may go unnoticed at first, but it demonstrates the sort of consideration a gentleman is expected to have.
- The idea is to stand as a guard between her and any water that might splash up from a puddle as a car passes through it. Even when there are no puddles to concern yourself with, however, social etiquette still deems it as a polite move to make.
9
Offer your arm. There’s nothing wrong with walking hand-in-hand, but if you’re looking for a traditional, classy alternative to catch a woman’s attention, try offering her your arm instead.
- For a casual first date, offering your arm might seem more than a little out of place. You’ll need to pay attention to the mood before deciding whether or not it’s appropriate.
- This gesture is almost always welcome at formal events, however. It can also be a smart move to make when you’re walking over icy or uneven ground.
10
Concern yourself with her safety. Make sure that she reaches her car safely. When appropriate, make sure that she gets home safely, too.
- Offer to walk your date to her car. Get her a cab instead of leaving her to get her own. Walk her to her door if she let you drive her home. When the two of you are close enough to exchange phone numbers, ask her to send you a text after she gets home safely.
- Unfortunately, the world can be a dangerous place for a single woman, especially after dark. While some women may take offense to your concern, most will understand and appreciate it. Moreover, being outwardly concerned for her safety may ultimately help her feel safer around you.