The Worst Pain in the World, Bendable Phones, and Joshua Tree: Best Gizmodo Stories of the Week

Screenshot: YouTube/Vertical Entertainment; Illustration: Chelsea Beck (Gizmodo); Photo: Lora DiCarlo; Illustration: NASA/CXC/M.Weiss

Ten hut, Gizmodo readers! Do you have a New Year’s Resolution you should be working on? Do not answer that rhetorical question, because yours are the feeble dreams of weaklings and mine is to whip this sorry, good-for-nothing blog audience squad into shape!

ROLL CALL! Scroll on down and click those links! I don’t want to hear any bellyaching from this cowardly crew of ingrates and dumb-comment-leavers. You WILL read about how cartographers for the U.S. military inadvertently drew hordes of people looking for stolen smartphones to someone’s house! You will also read about how bounty hunters are buying phone location data from carriers, how millions of Americans may be mistaken about their food allergies, and all the movies you should be looking forward to in 2019! You will also read about how the first bendable phone may be a fascinating piece of junk and our review of M. Night Shyamalan’s Glass!

After that, you will then engage in a strategic ego-building exercise by leaving comments complimenting our authors on how smart and good they are! If there is any time left before bed, you will leave further comments with glowing reviews of our personal sartorial choices and perhaps our extremely cute and friendly pets! Go, go, GO!

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How Cartographers for the U.S. Military Inadvertently Created a House of Horrors in South Africa

The visitors started coming in 2013. The first one who came and refused to leave until he was let…

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International Space Station Telescope Makes Amazing Observation of Black Hole Eating Stuff

A telescope on the International Space Station made an incredible high-resolution measurement of…

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Is CES Afraid Of Sex or Women or Both?

CES, the annual conference showcasing the cutting-edge in consumer tech, has a reputation for not…

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Report of Bounty Hunters Buying Phone Location Data Leaves U.S. Senators Seething

Senate Democrats called on federal agencies Wednesday to investigate the practice by major…

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Producers of Nazi Romance Movie Appear to Be Using DMCA Takedowns to Silence Critics

Where Hands Touch, director Amma Asante’s new film about a love story between a biracial black teen …

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Millions of Americans Are Wrong About Having a Food Allergy, Study Suggests

Millions of Americans might be mistaken about their self-professed food allergy, suggests a new…

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Scientists Have a Plan to Turn Seabirds Into Tiny Ocean Science Labs

In the future, cyborg birds may help monitor ocean currents and help ground-truth satellite data.…

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The Joshua Tree Fiasco Is Why Parks Should Be Closed During the Shutdown

In a bizarre decision on Wednesday, Joshua Tree National Park reversed course on closing its gates, …

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Deadly Class, and the Powers and Limitations of a One Man Show

There’s one thing that’s clear from visiting the set of Syfy’s new comic book series, Deadly Class: …

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io9's Guide to All the Movies You Should Give a Damn About in 2019

Last year was one of the biggest years ever at the box office, and 2019 looks like it could easily…

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Captain Marvel Will Bring the Might of Carol Danvers to the Big Screen and Change the MCU

I’ve been waiting seven months to tell you something: We be Skrullin’.

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Glass Is a Frustrating, Unsatisfying Conclusion to the Unbreakable Saga

Nineteen years ago, I saw M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable and fell in love. To this day, it’s one…

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What's the Worst Pain?

Some people say that life is pain. Those people are optimistic: life isn’t pain, it’s pains,…

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The Vive Pro Eye Is the Next Big Step for VR

While Facebook and Oculus are out there going after regular folk with the Oculus Go and the…

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The First Bendable Phone Is an Exciting Piece of Junk

Back in November, just days before Samsung teased its flexible display phone, Royole burst onto the …

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Nvidia CEO Trashes AMD's New GPU: 'The Performance Is Lousy'

Yesterday I spent two hours listening to the CEOs of rival companies talk trash about each other.…

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YouTube Allows Disney Nerds to Relive Extinct Theme Park Attractions

The Disney nerd community recognized a sad anniversary yesterday. It’s been 20 years since the ride …

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